The Facebook conundrum.

I am active on Facebook, arguably the world's biggest social media website.
The reason I joined was to find out whatever happened to old friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, even places I used to know.
So, OK, I have managed to reconnect with many people in my life who are important to me. This is great, seeing as I am always somewhere in the world besides being at home! It is about a 70-30 split.

It's grand to be able to say something like "I'm in London" once, and almost everybody knows. No need to repeat the same line to everybody as they come through the door. Thanks, Facebook!!

BUT....

Now I know why whatever became of x, y and z, became of them. ie. Why we lost contact to begin with.
It's a shock to realize that I know an insane amount of extremely selfish, vain, greedy, bitter, ignorant and messed-up people!
I had no idea, for example, that one of the guys I remember from school days as a "jock" is actually addicted to cheesy, tree-hugging sayings and spends the majority of his life scouring the internet for them and re-posing them to Facebook!
What about the one(s) who insist on letting everyone know every little detail of their miserable lives, right up to (and including photos of!!) their hemorrhoids, knee operations or other highly personal, it's-got-nothing-to-do-with-me details which I and all self-respecting Facebookers have no desire to partake of.

One person quipped "If you've got problems, face them, don't Facebook them.
O hear ye, hear ye..

I don't know who it was who gave me some insight into the art of discretion, but I'm thinking for the most part my mother, simply because she spent the most time talking to my brother and I as children.
I still slip up and say inappropriate things at inopportune times, but I'm bringing all forces to bear on making that happen as little as possible.

Even the book of Proverbs Chapter 1 highly regards discretion:-

1The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2for attaining wisdom and discipline;

for understanding words of insight;

3for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,

doing what is right and just and fair;

4for giving prudence to the simple,

knowledge and discretion to the young—

Not that I am blaming Facebook for this. On the contrary I believe that Facebook is merely a medium rather like a big room where people get together to interact. Think of it as the school hall at a high school reunion. The main difference is that, whilst everyone is talking at once, the Facebooker gets to hear all conversations simultaneously. This is not something you'd like to try at your high school reunion. You will flee from the ball, my dear!!

Facebook in this respect gives us the "Superpower" of being able to hear everyone's THOUGHTS, and WORDS simultaneously!!! (The Status update block even asks you "What's on your mind?")
This is not a good thing. I liked it better in the days when what was on people's minds rarely came out of their mouths. This, my dear friends is the heart and soul of discretion.

As someone once said:- "Better to keep your mouth shut and have others think you're and idiot than to open it and remove all doubt"

With this in mind I've found myself having to politely ignore many of my 'friends' on Facebook, simply because they have nothing of real value to contribute, so instead they contribute total garbage (a.k.a. 'bullshit') in the hope that they will be noticed. You have been, and promptly relegated to the list of the unsubscribed.

I am grateful to report that I am still left with a huge collection of interesting, fun, delightful, humorous and inspiring friends, and always look forward to reading their comments or about the antics happening to them. We arrange get-togethers, reunion parties, tickets to Bruce Springsteen, jam sessions. We catch up on current events, upload photos, and relive a lot of memories.

In a nutshell, Facebook's greatest strength is bringing people together, and its second-greatest is giving us the means to slip away from the ones we don't need.

TFR

Derek

Remember me.

Bangladesh is a tiny country, comparable to England in size. The population, however, is a staggering 160 Million people. Poverty, disease and human tragedy are a daily reality. Walking the streets of Dhaka, the Capital, this reality is brought to the visitor in graphic detail. The hunchbacked beggar at your taxi window, the crows cawing over the putrid garbage rotting streetside. Human and animal trawling the waste of the few who are better off for something to sustain them.
This is a place where children are born on the pavement and are purposely crippled or maimed in some way by their parents to make them more effective beggars. Desperation has a name and a face on these streets.
In spite of the unpleasant sights and smells of Dhaka, there remains time for a smile, a handshake, a kind word. A flash of eyes that say "I exist, I am here, Remember me!!"

 She was seated in a rickshaw flashing by me. I took the shot on the fly, and it's probably my favourite of the day. Just a girl going about her business, who happened to have time to smile at a stranger. The beauty was not in her appearance so much as in her gesture. A living Mona Lisa.

..and then she was gone in a sea of rickshaws...

The old lady followed me for a while, muttering at me in Bangali. At first I assumed she was yet another beggar until a passerby translated for me. The lady was welcoming me to Bangladesh and thanking me for taking pictures, so the world could see their life and difficulties here in Dhaka. Would I please take a picture of her?

I did... She is beautiful.

I doubled back to rendezvous with Mel, a fellow crew member who had gone into the market to do some shopping. She gasped and pointed behind me. A large crowd had gathered behind me and were following me up the road, all wanting to be photographed. The translator explained this to us, so Mel called them to gather behind her and get their picture taken. As you can imagine, this is a surprising attitude. Normally western people avoid being photographed. These people wanted it, even though they may never see the result.
Upon further reflection I realized that they simply want to be recognized, remembered that they too exist, and have a place in this world.

Remember me... I am real.